No one like me

[Michael C Kidd]

Guys I'm in a situation I dont believe any other christian is going through My wife and I got save some five years ago I knew within a year I had a calling to preach I studied the word like no other after only a year I was answering biblical questions for people who had been in church for years before I was born. My wife has struggled with depression all her life but had managed well after being saved using medication still but using alot of God. Well 2 years ago her sister and 2 children 9 and 12 were murdered by the husband. they were christians or we know the wife and kids were the husband just never would give God his all. well my wife took it worse than anything she has focused on there death so much she has forgotten about all the living that are still here for her and still love her. She has recently become suicidle and frankly I just cant comprehend it she has so much 3 great children and a fairly good life but still she focuses so much on the ones she lost that she cant see that. We both went to bible college for 3 yrs I went for ministry and she tagged along to learn more of God. Her sister had started going to just before she was murdered but now its like she has given up on all she has learned she blames God alot for the death of her sister and the kids. I've given up preaching I just can't do it now the desire is gone and replaced with the need to get her better. I feel I'd be an imposter preaching to others what they should do when I can't even get my own family to believe it. I dont know for sure what I want from you all I guess I just needed to vent my frustration to someone. I've considered so much lately as I see the impact this has on our children Ive prayed to God and hate the word divorce but have considered it for my kids benefit. As I write this now my wifes in the hospital for the second time this month for having suicidle thoughts last time she actually OD'ed this time she said its a feeling she just cant shake and needs help. Pray for me please pray God could just turn all this around I haven't given up on my Lord and I know he hasn't given up on me.

[Heath Maycumber]

keep believing bud keep believing the times you think the good lord is not watching over you is when he is watching the most. hope for the best bud and i'll keep yyou in my prayers

[Joey Donelson]

Michael, how are things going with you & your family.

[Michael C Kidd]

we have good days and bad days still my wife isnt focused so much on here sister anymore but has alot of issues withh the depression. weve had a few problems that have stemmed from her depression and were working through them starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. weve moved out of our hometown to a neighboring town that has helped alot I think not having to see certain things alot. Ive cut back on hunting some and hunt on weekends with my 2 young sons just to keep them involved in the sport. I sold all my dogs but one just to kinda relieve some financial stress things are getting better it seems most the time.

[Joey Donelson]

I am glad to hear things are getting better. I have a sister in-law that has had to deal with depression for most of her adult life & I know it can be very difficult for the people close to them and it is even more difficult for the person with chronic depression. We know God has a plan for everything but I also know what a struggle it can be to get through some of these tough times. God bess you & I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Sonny Phipps]

I can't imagine how this must be. Keep the faith. God will never put more on you then you can handle. You will be in my prayers.

[Randy Tallon]

My situation 4 years ago can't compare to yours, BUT.......I started to prepare for what I figured to be my last time to participate in the Pa. Police Olympics. The event I have competed in is actually an 8 event ordeal, kinda like the decathlon called the Toughest Cop Around Contest. I started training in Oct with the event date of the second week of June as my target date. By April I was starting to get into pretty dog gone good shape. Then I was hit with a blood clot in my left leg. I figured I was done. I spent the next 5 weeks doing nothing but having my wife give me 2 shots a day in my stomach, keeping the leg elevated, with periodic hot compresses and general inactivity. After this therapy session ended I asked the Dr if I could go back to the gym. He told me I could. I started back slow. One of the 8 events is a 3 mile run. I trained 4 miles a day besides the other "stuff" that I had to compete in. Many times I felt like quitting. I would hit a point in my runs where I would start repeating, "Never quit, never quit, never quit." It became a rythmn. I asked in my prayers everyday if it was worth it and doing the right thing. My body hurt. My left knee (the one that had the clot) started to hurt. The next day I would be right back out there training.....almost like someone was dragging me there!!! The day of the event came and I didn't know if I even belonged there. Long story short at the end of the day I went forward and received my silver medal. It wasn't gold, but, I was close! Never quit, never quit, always BELIEVE, KEEP THE FAITH!!!!!

[Austin Alford]

My prayers are still with you Micheal